i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
