i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
