I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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