Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just cropdusted the office
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
