Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
