Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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