I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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