I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
