The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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