it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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