What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
