that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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