Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
