is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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