after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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