i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize