his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Randomize
