You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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