Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
