I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
