I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
