Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
