Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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