No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize