My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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