this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
