:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
im holly from the hills drunk
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
