The maid of honor just puked.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
