Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
