So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
