was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Actions speak louder than pants.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
