it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
