Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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