I didn't shave. On purpose
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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