420 ftw
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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