dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
