She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Everclear isn't food dammit
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
