ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
