he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
