I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
