What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
