would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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