He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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