I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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