Im at strip club and am horny
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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