yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I will pee on everything he values.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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