I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
