dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
