So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
