I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
