i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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