i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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