So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Just pee around me
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize