Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize