her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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