I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
