My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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