and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
