...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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