so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
