Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
