Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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