No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize