I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
they're like a gay fantastic four
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
