I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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